There’s just something about that switch being turned on and going into Dom mode that just defies reason with me. On a day to day basis I have anxiety. Some of it is normal. Some of it is manufactured by the nerves firing off wrong in my back and brain. So being 100 percent sure of anything is rare with me. That’s not to say I’m not decisive in my decision making. Its just that sometimes its like moving through molasses. But have Grace get bratty on me and all of that is gone. There is no hesitation with anything I do. I just do it.
Yesterday is a good example. Grace said, “Or what” when I told her to do something. I obviously hadn’t planned for that reaction from her in the script I had in my head for how the scene we were in would play out. But that didn’t matter. There was no “now what should I do here” thought in my brain. There’s no doubt. None. When I get into that mind set its like the floodgates have been opened and there is simply no containing the force its unleashed. I love it. Absolutely love it. It never lasts long, but its my equivalent of subspace even though its at the polar opposite end of the spectrum. For subs, you disconnect. For me, I never get as lucid and quick minded as I do in those short few minutes. I process things so quickly. I can see where things are heading and can quickly plot out what happens next and to do so in a manner that assures that only what I want to happen will happen. When you spend your life in a haze, those moments are sweet. So very sweet.
100 percent confidence, incredibly fast thinking compared to normal, and instincts like a predator chasing its prey. If that’s not an air of invincibility I don’t know what is.