I realize that just reading a few entries paints a rather dark picture of myself. It would be easy to deduce that my life is either about having or giving pain. Or maybe about the fear of having too much anger and frustration running through me. Its not always like that. I have good days. Granted, at the moment, they are few and far between, but they still happen. I understand that the reason there aren’t many at the moment is the simple fact that I don’t have hips. Not really anyway. Its just bone on bone there on both sides. But pain does not preclude joy. And it certainly does not preclude having fun. Grace and I do that as often as we can. We will pick on one another, we have our running gags that I’m sure most couples have, and we have good talks now and again about lots of things both philosophical and nonsensical. We even end every day with asking one another what their favorite part of the day was. Its a ritual she and I have been doing for almost a year now. It helps focus in on the bright moments of the day or at the very least allow you to see a bright moment amongst the wreckage of a truly crappy day.
But the absolute best moment I have every day with Grace is when I hold her in my arms in bed. No talking. No pushing of buttons. Just holding her and listening to the quiet. It always brings a contented sigh to my lips. The world slows down and for just a minute or two the only thing in the universe is the two of us. We’ve been together over 6 years and spend a large amount of time around one another on a day to day basis. That feeling is the same today as it was the first time I held her in my arms. We have been through a lot in the years. More then I am comfortable talking about even here. But there has never been a day where I have regretted having her in my life. Nor has there been a day where I regretted moving to live with her. She is, simply put, mine. She is all that I could have wished for and more then I ever dreamed possible. If the pain I have daily is somehow the price I pay for having her, then I have to tell you somebody got cheated and it wasn’t me.
Okay, there’s my warm and fuzzy post. Back to pain, humiliation, and telling stories about Grace that make her blush soon.