Posted: 15th February 2012 by Duality in Scenes

Kind of continuing with “What I learned from the flogging” stream of thought here.  What you need to understand is that when its done right, the submissive really doesn’t have any idea just how much actual damage is being done to them during the flogging.  Oh sure, there’s pain.  And there will be pain that will make them hop about, curl their toes, and suck in air… but there is also so much endorphin coursing through their veins that the large percentage of the pain is shrugged off as they float into subspace.  Think about this way, this was Grace’s first flogging.  She suffers from social anxiety disorder and post traumatic stress disorder.  She was topless and only wearing very thin panties in front of someone who was not me.  She was being touched in an intimate manner by someone who wasn’t me.  The touching never got too intimate, but if you don’t have a shirt on and someone is rubbing your back, shoulders, and neck you can bet their is some kind of sexual charge going on.  And the most continuous type of pain scene she and I have done previous to this event lasted maybe 20 minutes or so and that was a spanking.  Her back is largely virgin territory.  The only “hits” to her back I’ve given her were meant more to relax then to cause pain.  So, add all that up and you have the potential for a tremendous amount of anxiety.  Yet, it never came into play.

Grace was in la la land for most of the scene.  Oh, she still was functioning on a level where she could communicate quite easily.  But her endorphin level was so sky high that registering thoughts beyond the here and now simply wasn’t happening.  So you could ask her what 1 plus 1 is and get an answer, but if you gave her 3 words to remember and asked her 5 minutes later what those three words were, she wouldn’t have been able to tell you.  I doubt she would have remembered being told the words to begin with.  So as a Dom, you have to be aware that if you’re doing your job right its going to be up to you to determine just how much actual damage you’re doing to your sub.  You need to be very aware that the normal pain limits are going bye bye.  its going to take a tremendous amount of concentration and focus on your part to make sure things stay where they need to stay and don’t go too far.  Otherwise you’re going to have a very uncomfortable conversation with some medical professionals and probably have an even more uncomfortable conversation with a member of the local police department.

I’ve already talked some about the aftercare that the sub is going to need.  When the endorphin level drops, the reality of just what all occurred is going to come crashing down on your sub and its going to happen in a hurry.  They’re going to go from happy as can be to “Oh Dear God don’t touch me there!” pretty quickly.   From my research I can tell you vitamin K is really good for helping with the healing process.  I even read where you can get the vitamin K gel capsules, cut them in half, and squeeze the pure vitamin K right onto the skin.  But honestly I’m thinking the lotions out there that have it as an additive would work well.  And of course an ice pack to help with the inflammation.  Grace made a fatal error with her aftercare.  See, I know back pain and wanted to rub her down with some lotion and put on the ice pack but she declined.  Grace is used to my spanking scenes where the pain fades relatively quickly.  She wanted to feel this pain longer and revel in it while it lasted.  She greatly underestimated just how much damage was done and how long it was going to hurt.  We’re two days out now and she’s still pretty damn sore.  One of these days she’s going to learn to listen to me about back pain, and on that day I figure the Rapture will start.  Love you, baby.

But beyond the sub’s aftercare, you need to understand that the Dom is going to need some aftercare too.  Talia was pretty adamant that Grace send her a note later that evening to let her know that she’s doing okay and then to call her in two days so that she could get a further update on how she’s doing.  Now Talia is a sadist.  That’s what gets her off.  But even a sadist has to know that they haven’t breached any of the trust that they’ve built up with a sub.  They need to know that they didn’t go too far.  They need to know that everything is okay.  There is a worry and guilt level that is attached to all of this.  A normal human being just can’t beat another human being and go about their day like nothing happened.  Sociopaths, sure.  But not normal human beings.  I know I’m going to be at least at that level when I do my first solo flogging of Grace if not worse.  This time wasn’t bad because I really was far more focused on the education of everything then I was with how hurt Grace was getting.  I trusted Talia and I always positioned myself so that I could either see Grace’s face or see the blows on her back so I knew on a fundamental level that things were happening the way they were supposed to.  And I had trust in Grace to safeword if she felt things were going too far.  So I was largely insulated from that topdrop that I’m sure Talia got hit with.  Especially since Grace just exudes this kind of empathy with people.  You meet Grace, you get to know Grace, and you want to protect her.  She just has that personality or inner archetype.  However you want to put it.  So hurting her kind of goes against your nature.

I’m not entirely sure how the aftercare is going to work for us when we both need a measure of it at the same time.  Some of it will be very complimentary.  She will need to be reassured that everything is okay and I’m going to want, if not need to give her that assurance.  But there will also come a point where she will need to be left alone.  Where she can decompress and deal with the endorphin crash.  Balancing that against my need to make sure she’s okay will take time to figure out the correct way of going about it, but Grace and I communicate very well with one another so in the end I think it will be okay.

Anyway, I think that’s all for now on the flogging.  I’ll probably report when Grace’s back is healed enough for us to start considering round two with Talia, but I’m pretty sure I’ll move on to other topics unless any of you guys have questions.  It occurs to me that I never really encourage that.  If any of you have questions about any of this, feel free to ask.  Neither of us mind.