The Bratty Dynamic

Posted: 19th January 2012 by Duality in Dynamics, Scenes

Grace is a brat.  There really is no denying it and its something she revels in from time to time.  I understand the faction within the bdsm community that looks down their collective noses at those Doms who put up with brats and their general disdain of the practice.  But, as with most things in the bdsm community, unless you walk a mile in someone’s shoes and understand exactly what the dynamic at play is, its really hard to pass judgement.  What may sound like wife abuse to me is probably sexual bliss to someone else.  So that leads us to today’s topic, why does it work for Grace and I?

You need to understand that Grace is a very passive person.  Her upbringing was…. let’s go with different.  Beyond all the pitfalls of Mormonism you have a mother who would have been right at home with the cast of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”.  Oh, and she was heavily molested at several points in her life by several different people.  So Grace has a very difficult time approaching any situation head on.  She’s getting better at it, and is miles and miles away from how bad she used to be with it, but she still has a ways to go before she can attempt to take a baby calf by its budding horns much less a bull.

This passiveness of hers extends into sex and is, of course, one of the reasons she’s a submissive.  But it also causes her to be really unable to initiate sex.  She’s tried, of course.  But whenever she initiates, it almost always ends in an anxiety attack during or an aborted attempted before sex.  So this can leave her amazingly frustrated at times because she is human and will sometimes want sex before I do.  A shocking statement in and of itself, I know, but it does happen from time to time.  I’ve tried to find just about every loophole I could find to give her some sort of tool to be able to signal to me that she wants to do something, but they never really work.

The only thing that does work is being a brat.  Grace knows that if she challenges me, playfully and in the correct way, she can get me to react and that reaction almost always ends in sex.  For us, her being a brat is seduction.  Its her way to initiate something with me that doesn’t cause all kinds of emotional upheaval within her.  And it works well within the type of bdsm play (I guess play is the right word there, people get so picky with that word but it seems to fit) that we do.  Grace loves to feel overwhelmed.  I love exerting my control over her.  So she challenges me, I react, I overwhelm her, I take control, and great sex is had by all.

What you need to understand is that even with her being a brat, there exists a line of respect that she does not cross.  She knows exactly how far she can push me before she hits a point of real, honest to God anger.  She’s hit that point once or twice by accident.  Sometimes she doesn’t know when to shut her inner monologue off from her mouth.  When these times happen she is suitably contrite and apologetic almost before I can fully react.  She knows when she’s screwed up.  She’s not being a brat to be disrespectful to me.  She’s being a brat because its the only way she knows how to communicate with me on a sexual level.

An example of this kind of encounter would go something like this:

Grace (after watching something on TV like a man yanking a woman down to the ground): You’d never be able to do something like that to me.

Me:  Really? (I say that word in a dangerous tone.  Its effectively me asking, “Do you really want to do this?”)

Grace:  Nope.  No way in Hell you could do it. (Which is Grace saying, “Yep.  I really do want to do this”)

Its at this point that I will quickly grab her by her hair at the nape of her neck and yank her face over to mine.  Its done so swiftly she can’t react and with enough strength that even if she did react I’d still be able to overpower her)

Me: So little girl.  (I’ll bend my head and take a sharp intake of air through my nose right next to her ear… which she totally gets off on) Get out of my grasp now.

What follows is her honestly trying to get away.  She’ll do everything in her power to get away from me.  I’m 6 foot 4.  She’s 5 foot 4.  Do the math.  It ain’t happening.  When I have her completely overwhelmed I’ll yank her top and bra off, pull my pants down, and fuck the living hell out of her face while taunting her and giving her face an occasional slap.  The slap sometimes comes from my dick just to add punctuation to the entire encounter.  I’ll make her get herself off while I fuck her face.  I make sure that she knows its not for her pleasure.  Its because I like the vibrations her mouth makes on my dick as she cums.  Her pleasure is incidental.  And finally I’ll cum down her throat.

Its in the moments after the climax that Grace’s submission really shines.  She’ll lay curled up on my side with her head in my lap softly suckling on my cock making sure she gets ever last drop of cum from me.  Its gentle and loving and screams “I am yours”.

As with all things bdsm, it may not be your cup of tea, but it works for us.