Posted: 26th October 2011 by Duality in History

Grace decided to mention that I have not had good luck with redheads and I suppose that should be explained.  I’ve dated three redheads.  The first turned out to be mildly creepy.  Just so mannerisms like putting a diaper on a dog and treating it like a baby.  Needless to say we stopped dating at that point.  Second redhead was probably the scariest.  She attached herself to me in ways that only Stephen King novel could describe.  Ever wake up in the middle of the night with the feeling you’re being watched.  I did one night.  She was staring at me through a window.  Yeah… I ended that relationship very quickly.  Only reason it wasn’t that very moment was I was dealing with a pregnancy scare with her that I’m almost 100 percent sure was faked.  The third redhead was an on and off again type deal that lasted right up to the point where she showed back up in my life after not having any contact with her for months, explained she had gotten engaged in that time and caught her fiance cheating on her.  But then she turned the crazy to 11.  She explained how the fiance’s family took her side and the guy’s sister, who is a professional photographer, gave her a free glamour shot day to help cheer her up.  Spent the whole day with her doing make up and taking a ton of pictures.  Then my little crazy redhead decides that she has the perfect solution to get back at her fiance.  She slept with his sister’s husband.  That’s right, she repaid the kindness of the sister by fucking her husband.  And all of this made perfect sense to her.

It was shortly after this that I decided redheads were off limits.  Once, hey it happens.  Twice, bad luck…whatcha going to do?  The third time?  Message received, God.  I’ll be leaving them the Hell alone now.